One son is gone…

He left today. Now he is Navy property. I wish I could have given him the collage education he deserved. I hope I said the things that needed to be said and prepared him enough for real life. I feel regret that he had to take this route and wonder how much creativity the Navy will stomp out of him.

I thought that by being a stay-at-home dad, I was giving him more than many others. Maybe I was wrong. Guess only the future can say for sure.

It is now his time to discover what the world really is about. I can only hope that he is ready.

God’s speed my son…

Dad

Funny Signs, Part 2…

I do not have any pictures to go with this one but it is just as funny as the original post. Read and enjoy!

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

**************************

In a Podiatrist’s office:

“Time wounds all heels.”

***************** *********

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

**************************

At a Proctologist’s door:

“To expedite your visit, please back in.”

**************************

On a Plumber’s truck:

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

**************************

On another Plumber’s truck:

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

**************************

On a Church’s Bill board:

“7 days without God makes one weak.”

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

“Invite us to your next blowout.”

**************************

At a Towing company:

“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

**************************

On an Electrician’s truck:

“Let us remove your shorts.”

**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

“Push. Push. Push.”

**************************

At an Optometrist’s Office:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

**************************

On a Taxidermist’s window:

“We really know our stuff.”

**************************

On a Fence:

“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

**************************

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:

“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

**************************

At the Electric Company

“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don’t, you will be.”

************** ************

In a Restaurant window:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

“Thank heaven for little grills.”

***********************

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

**********************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises” 

Hope ya smiled…

Axe

The Fart List…

A few years ago I presented “The Poopie list” and it was popular enough that I have finally decided to add this new list. I give you the fart list. Enjoy!

Art Fart- It’s such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.

Arrogant Fart- When you think your farts don’t stink.

Assualt Fart- A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your ass.

Tire Fart- You can’t control the blow out.

Beer Farts- These come out of every “can” and smell like warm beer.

Jail Fart-Been doing time inside you for quite awhile and releasing it would be a crime.

Donkey Fart- Your  ”ass” is the only one that can do it.

Ghost Fart- Ya can’t hear it, ya can’t see it and ya can’t smell it.

Home Alone Fart- When you are home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.

Shoe Fart-When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.

Tank Fart-When it is so thick you can tread on it.

Old Fart- You know how old is it is by how bad it smells.

Brain Fart- You need to fart, but nothing comes out.

Alzheimer Fart-A confused fart that heads the wrong way and becomes a burp.

Not-Me Fart- This is the fart that the cat or dog is always blamed for.

U.F. O. Fart-A fart in a crowded roon that is labeled as a ” Unidentified Foul Odor”.

and last but not least….

Truth Serum Fart- When released it makes anyone willing to tell you anything, even the truth, just to avoid it again.

Axe

Sometimes the little things add up

 Most likely, you have heard the phrase ” it is the little things that matter”. It is a pretty common phrase and one referred to most when life seems to be passing someone by. They are spending too much time worrying about the big things and not enough time enjoying the little things.

While I can certainly agree with the idea that we should spend time enjoying the little things, sometimes the little things add up.

Not all of the little things are good things.They are not a smile, a laugh, a good joke or even a little time spent with good friends. Some times the little things are bad things and when enough of them happen it is hard to ignore them any longer.

When 3 checks bounce on the same day you get paid and the one of the tires, on your only car goes flat, with the check engine light coming on every week,it is hard to ignore.When the mop breaks and so does your washing machine it is hard to forget. When your group and your personal website are both being deleted by their hosts, it is hard to believe you are not being erased. When the big problems stay while more and more little things are being heaped upon you, it becomes harder and harder to get up each day.

 All these things have been happening to me and it is hard not see what the little things are adding up to. I get the message! Out with the old and in with the new. I hear ya loud and clear! But what if you cannot afford the new? What if you are the old? What if the little things add up to too much?

I guess, sometimes when the little things add up, you have to go get a glass of water and let the world go to hell.

Axe

 

Health Care in America…

I am sure if I wanted to, I could post a link or two, to other posts and articles about health care in America.But then I would be left with which links to post and how many to post entering into my mind. You would have to be totally blind and stupid to not know anything about this subject and that there are way too many links to post regarding this matter. (There is a poll at the bottom of the post if you just feel like voting)

With that in mind, no links to outside articles or posts will be included in this post. It is not really required anyway as I can approach this subject from a personal point of view.I am one of those 46 million people often spoke about as the un-insured.

Most of the time when things are spoken of and facts and figures are given, a face or name is never given or viewed and perhaps it is human nature to do such things. However, in doing so we tend to take the humanity away from the subject and it losses it’s true meaningfulness. With this post, it is my goal to bring the personal nature of health care into the light and hopefully the humanity of the situation will be more readily viewable for all.

I, having no health care insurance plan, do dread trips to the doctor. For the pre-knowledge that every expense shall have to be paid for out of pocket with cash on hand, does make a visit to the doctor something to deeply fear. “What if I do not have enough money?” and “What if I spend too much, how will the bills be paid?” are questions that usually enter the mind before you have even entered the doctors office. Having these types of concerns must be pretty common though as being a house-husband and raising kids does not garner any type of health care insurance. I guess raising good kids that will help improve America’s future is not on the high priority list for health insurance though.

So knowing I have no health insurance and having kids to take care of means that doctors visits are at the very bottom of things needed to be done. If going to the doctor means you cannot afford to feed the kids or pay the electric bill, then there will be no doctor visit. That is why it was 8 months I waited to see a doctor about my problems. In October of 2008, I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism and a multi-nodular goiter. After seeing a regular doctor and 2 endocrinologists I was diagnosed with Grave’s disease also. Yes, Hyperthyroidism and Grave’s disease are both potentially fatal if not treated in a timely manner. If you have done the math you can clearly see it has been nearly 9 months since diagnosed and 17 months since the problems 1st started.

A couple of the doctors were even nice enough to inform me that I probably should be dead or at least been in the hospital by now.

You might thinking that this problem should have been fixed by now and I certainly could not agree with you more, but this is the result of no health care insurance. Until my medicine completely stops working and I end up going into cardiac arrest or coma and have to be taken the the emergency room, there will be no treatment of my condition. Current law only requires hospitals to treat patients through the emergency room. Basically, I have to hope to be at risk of dying in order to get the treatment I need!

Of course, this chain of events has made me look back on my life and wonder if deciding to stay at home and devote myself to raisng good kids( you know, those kids with respect for their elders and good grades) was such a good decision. After all, if I would have decided to work instead I might have been able to afford health insurance. Something is obviously wrong here when a person, born in America, who worked in America, and who did his best to raise kids that will improve America has to doubt his decision to be un-selfish and stay at home. I feel like I did something wrong and am now being punished for it.

Well, I did say that this post was going to be personal and I hope that I clearly spoke of how it is to be one of the 46 million who is without health care insurance. I realize that no matter what I say, there will always be those with strong opinions and they will want to say something negative about this post. Before you do and waste both your time and mine, keep in mind a few things. If your reply is vulgar, rude, or unconstructive it will be deleted.  With that in mind feel free to speak your mind or vote in the poll below.

Thx for taking the time to read this,

Axe

My Warrior Epic experience…

I gave it(Warrior Epic-Online MMORPG) a try because the concepts sounded good but this is what I discovered.

Trying to get the game to install was not easy. The installer has some type of upload issue that prevents it from downloading the game properly and if you do not use a “work around” it will take forever to download. I am talking like 250+hrs. !!! It seems to work like a peer to peer type of program.

Once you use the “work around” it has to be restrated so that it takes hold and then the game downloads for awhile.At some point it finally gets done and then needs to update.Again, the “work around” and restart must be employed to get it working properly.

Now the game is supposed download the rest in the background and again, work around and restart must used. The game has to be totally downloaded 100% to work, including all patches and updates. Once this is done you will have to wait for a slow ass tech to register your account so you can login into the game. That took over 4 hrs. on top of the time spent downloading, workarounds, and restarts.

Once you finally are able to get into the game you are greeted by a tutorial which forces you to play a character to learn the basics. Then when you have finished, you have just enough prestige points that you can go pick a character of your choice. Only one character though. You cannot pick another character until you earn enough prestige points to get another character. You have to complete quests to do so. Fine, I go and try to do some quests.

I die over and over again. I cannot complete a quest. Surprise!

So I think, “hmmm, maybe I need a group to do it ?”

So I go into the lobby but it won’t let me join any game!(Even if I could join one almost all of them are on advanced quests already.)
 So I host a game, I have good DSL and it should be no problem since I could host Gears of War with no problems.

4 people join real quick and then I launch the game and 4 people leave before we can even make any moves in the quest. How frickin’ lame is that!! Leaving me in a quest with enough foes for 5 people to fight, only I am alone. Awesome!!!!

This game totally sucks! Concepts good, execution terrible!!!!!

If you want to waste your time downloading for hours and waiting for hours to get nowhere, by all means do a search on google for this game.I feel the game is so bad, that I refuse to place a link for it. It really is that bad! The makers of this game are  True Games and Possibility Space. I say this because you might want to avoid all their games. They even went so far as to censor every complaint I made in their forums about the game.

Companies like this should not be in business!

Axe

American Idol, Rigged or Americans just stupid?

Well, if you did not know who won last night, just click here for the results.

Before posting any ignorant rants and looking like a Kris fanboi,you should read this article or this article which show I was right about it being rigged. That is why I allowed some of the absolutely ignorant comments to be posted, just so others can see the lengths people will go to get across their twisted opinions. Updated 5/27/09

Seeing who the winner was and knowing who really performed better on Tuesda,y leads to the conclusion that either American Idol is totally rigged or the American people are actually dumber than anyone thought poosible. In fact, there is a possibility that both things are true.

{Spoiler} Adam Lambert not winning this season is absolutely absurd! Not only was he in a league of his own when it came to vocal skills, he was also very good at crafting the music to showcase his vocal prowlness. Chris, on the other hand,was barely noticible when compared to alot of the other talent that was on this year’s show. Not even sure how he made it to the finale,when there were/are other singers better than him. The fact that he won is clear evidence that something is greatly amiss here in idol land.

With Chris winning the show, there is clearly something very wrong going on here, even on Tuesday Adam performed better than Chris, delivering what had to be the most incredicle blues redition I have EVER seen and clearly singing the final song better than Chris did, made it all too apparent that Chris ws out-matched in every way. Foul play cannot be more evident than this season’s conclusion.

Either Idol is paying off the voting company or has been hiring people to make the phone calls into the Idol phone lines. This is most likely what has been going on for years, as there have been many years with questionable winners and would certainly explain why those who should have won, did not. By giving the the win to who would normally be the runner-up, Idol places itself in the position of having 2 artists to sell, instead of just one. Certainly a more profitable way to go. Definately explains the Clay/Rubben, Carrie/Bo and now the Adam/Chris season finales reasonably.

The only other explaination is that americans are simply the dumbest people on the planet.Either they are guilty of watching a show that is obviously rigged or they are guilty of voting for glaringly inferior singers. Whichever is the case, is still leaves Americans as stupid.

Ahh well, not knowing for sure which is the case, I am left with a bitter after taste in my of mouth and find I can now move on from this horrendous show. One can only take so much stupidity from a show before they find it too hard to take anymore. Goodbye American Idol…

Axe

The Smartest Cat(joke)

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can your cat do?’

The Government Employee called his cat and said, ‘CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.’

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet…….

ate the cookies……..
drank the milk…….
shit on the paper…….

screwed the other three cats…….

claimed he injured his back while doing so…

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions..

put in for Workers Compensation……………and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…
And that my friend, is why everyone wants to work for government!!

Funny Dirty Pics(not porn)

This is a small collection of pics extracted from email that shows some funny dirty names and other general funny pics.Enjoy!(click on the thumbnails for the full sized pic.)

Axe

Wonder if they sell weiners?

Is it that way to whores or toys?

Perhaps you just rest your weiner here?

Is that what you think before or after you eat here?

Somehow I do not think she will be satified at the drive thru window…

Was that their name or just what happened?

Paying someone to do it for you? Now that is just lazy!

Now that is the kind of air conditioning I want!

Now that is a REAL weenie roast!

A neighbor caught with his ass hanging out!

Aw shit! Here’s another one!

Speaking of asses,meet the ass family!

Speaking of dumbasses…

Too much ass for me,let’s cover them up!

They just keep getting smaller though, leaving more ass hanging out every year.

Lastly, I wonder if this is how you get a free haircut?

Geez! After all those dirty pics, I think I will go church and cleanse my sins, how about this one?

Erm, maybe not!

Have a good one!

 

 

Lestat

Not quite what I had in mind, all those years I used the name Lestat, in all those old groups I once belonged to and ran.

Ancient Vampires

Axe aka Lestat