Smart Axe Answers

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
“What are my choices?” John asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub.”

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn’t
find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.

The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.”
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck
under the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas.”

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I
won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or
a death in your immediate family,
but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What
would you say
if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
“Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

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2 Comments

Filed under Comedy, General Stuff, Humor, Jokes

2 responses to “Smart Axe Answers

  1. mystarbucks

    Axe,
    You always make me laugh. I like the last one! Having two teenagers in school, it sounds like this teacher knows what she’s doing.

    Like

  2. hey!….hows it goin’?

    Like

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