The Wife from Hell

A police officer pulls over a speeding  car. The officer says, ” I clocked you at  80 miles per hour, sir.”
The  driver says, “Gee,  officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar  gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from  her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise  control.”
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks  over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your  mouth shut for once?”
The wife smiles demurely and  says, “You should  be thankful your radar detector went off when it  did.”
As the officer makes out the  second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man  glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,  “Damn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
The  officer frowns and says, “And I notice that  you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic  $75 fine.”
The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see  officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over  so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The  wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re  driving.”
And  as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the  driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE  SHUT UP??”
The  officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

I love this  part….
“Only when he’s been drinking.”

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2 Comments

Filed under Comedy, Humor, Jokes

2 responses to “The Wife from Hell

  1. wyokowgirl

    your stories are uproariously entertaining, I have fun passing them along

    Like

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