Old and New adages

Bet you have not heard all of these,I certainly had not and I am not exactly a spring chicken! LOL! (Thx for sending the email ole’ friend)

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.   

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.  

3. If you don’t have a sense of humour, you probably don’t have any sense at all.  

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.  

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.  

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?  

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.  

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.  

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. 

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. – Like this: It could be a right number.  

13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.  

14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.  

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.  

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )  

18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.  

19. After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead! 

20. The truth is not good or evil, it is just the truth.

K, so the last one was mine but it is a rather good one.:)

Axe

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Filed under Comedy, Humor, Jokes, Thoughts

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