Tag Archives: Friendship

Recent Updates 1-19-15

It occurred to me after posting them to my author blog, that some of these recent posts affect things, that are posted here too. Thus, I am going to share the links, for those who do not read my author blog.

http://wp.me/p1Hef5-c9 -On Hiatus

http://wp.me/p1Hef5-cb – On Hiatus:Why?

http://wp.me/p1Hef5-ch– He is Gone…

Now all my readers should be caught up with the latest news. Have a great day!

Axe

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My Thoughts on 2013 and beyond…

I am not going to into subjects such as religion and politics. There are plenty of places to read and discuss those matters. Besides, that has never been the purpose of this blog. The purpose of this blog is to find interesting and amusing things to share while occasionally sharing some of my original thoughts and creations along the way.

According to annual report I just posted, I believe I have failed at providing anything of value this year. Not a single post I made this year managed to make it into the top posts and once more the visitation rate of this blog has been lower. It almost seems like the more I add to this blog, the less people come to see.

Of course, there are certain other factors that have taken their toll. The like button and the wordpress reader have both distanced writers from their readers.

In the end, I suppose we all must either accept what is inevitable or move on. The fact is, someday WordPress.com will die and will only have its bad decisions to blame. That is why I shall be spending part of next year looking for a better blogging experience. It may be there is not one out there and all blogs are doomed to die but that does not mean I should just accept it lying down.

For me, 2013 was a year of transition. I left Facebook, SoundCloud, and G+ all behind me. I opened my home and my life up to those who accepted the invite and welcomed the chance for something more than just an internet connection. Then after having done so, I removed those from my life who had been hanging on but really had no interest in any kind of relationship.

In 2013 I learned that real friends actually reply to messages and posts occasionally. They are there for you when needed and truly appreciate the time and effort you put into providing original content.

2013 was the year for me in which I learned what really mattered. As the last of my children moved away and a new life opened up to me, I embraced it. I, on a personal level, felt that doing so was the only way for a courageous man to go. I let go of the past and put myself out there. Maybe I will come to regret it, but I would rather look death in the face than cower in fear.

So what does the new year hold in store for me? I could speak of what I have planned but then I would ruining the surprises, now wouldn’t I ? Besides, life has a way of screwing up the best laid plans. Thus, I can only speak of what I will not be doing in 2014.

I won’t be wasting any time on pretend friends. I won’t be wasting time on websites that offer me nothing in return for my efforts. And lastly, I won’t be making anymore dancing videos. The last one nearly killed me and in the end did not even seem to garner at least amusement. (Who would’ve thought an old man trying to dance was not amusing?)

In conclusion, I hope we all have a better year this coming new year, with many new and wonderful surprises!

tc

Axe

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The Empty Nest

Before I go into my main subject, let me share a few minor updates I have made, to this site.

Updates

 Firstly, I have been forced into re-instituting the reader has to be logged-in to comment policy. Having to wade through 15-20 spam comments everyday, just to make sure nothing ended up in there by accident, changed my mind. If the only thing being gained by letting just anyone post a comment, is more spam to wade through, no sense in allowing that to happen.

 Secondly, I added links to my photos website and have watermarked all the pics to be uploaded(851 photos). Sometime next week(hopefully) I will upload them. The button is over there on the right side—>(The button with NWD and a duck on it). Subscribe if you want to be notified when they go up. 🙂

 Thirdly, I updated all my book links on the left side and the “Buy my books” pages of both this blog and my author blog(It should be noted that the print version can be bought directly from Amazon now). I had to change the links because they did not reflect the last version of my book(4th edition) or the link to buy the print version  from amazon. I also added another review.

 Lastly, I added the link to my youtube channel(also over there on the right side). Expect more videos to be added, in the near future, now that there are no kids in the house, to interrupt me.

The Empty Nest

Speaking of no kids in the house, that is the subject I wish to discuss today. Finding yourself at home alone, 90% of the time and in rather questionable health, puts a sense of danger into the mind. I always thought I would be relieved to finally have the time to do everything I wished. But as the reality of my present situation began to sink in, and the fact that thx to the wonders of modern machines, such as this one,—>

iphone pic

I can now allow others into my life. My family members desired I keep my personal life private and I honored those wishes. However, now that is not my present reality. Therefore, I have decided that I will send out an email, to those who have tried to remain friends throughout the years, offering them direct access to me, through text messages, phone calls, etc. if they so desire. Not only would it be the prudent thing for me to do, it would also be nice to be able to communicate with them on a more personal level, than I was previously able to do. If you think you should be one of those friends who is given this information, but are unsure I will feel the same way, please feel free to comment here or send an email through the contact page.

Hopefully, I won’t be completely alone, all the time in the near future. 🙂 What do you think?

Axe

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Farewell Facebook.

I want to start this the right way, the correct way. But I am not really sure there is one. So I’ll start, with what I usually do, when I first get on my computer. Once it is up and everything has loaded, the first thing I do is check email. I know that seems odd, in these days of social media, but it is a habit now. It is what I have been doing, since I first got on a computer, more than 15 yrs. ago. As I was looking and noticing that I once again had nothing new to see, I accidentally clicked on the right side of the email list, and somehow managed to end up at the first email I still have.  I then started glancing through the names, periodically stopping to take a glance, at this old email and that one, when I stopped upon the very first email, I received a reply from someone here, where this blog has lived for the last 7 yrs. You see I had just begun my blog here, and she was kind enough to reply to one of my first posts, so I sent her a “Thank You” email. Hoping it would encourage her to come back because I had taken the time. The idea worked, she came by and commented and I replied. Soon after, her friends were coming by and with time, I believe more people were coming by, not because of the astounding posts I was making, but because of the interaction they expected to get and indeed got. I replied to nearly every comment. In fact, when RSS feeds became the thing of the day, I was not surprised to discover, that more and more people subscribed to the comments feed, than the actual blog feed.

In fact, it grew so disproportional, that I eventually had to remove the RSS comments feed link. I began to realize that those people who were not visiting the website and getting to comment. were missing out on the most important part of the entire experience. They were completing missing out on the interaction.

Not going to state that the early days of Facebook reminded me of that, because the early days of Facebook, I had no friends there yet. In fact, I sent an invite to every one of my old friends before they arrived there. I am not saying they all discovered Facebook because of me or something egotistical like that. I am merely stating when I got there, none of them were there yet, and it was a lonely and barren place for me. But with time all things change and eventually they showed up, one by one, and the days of interacting once again were upon me. They were commenting and I was again replying, in my most sarcastic manner…life was good. But then the “Like” button appeared. I am pretty certain it was not always there. But perhaps it was and people just did not use it. People in general, seemed to still be, in the age of interaction. They seemed to still get that interacting with the OP( Original Poster) was the way to establish communication and develop any kind of real relationship.

As time passed by, the “Like” button, become more and more the predominant form of communication. Someone would see something you posted, but instead of adding their own original thoughts on the subject, they would simply click the button and in return for that small effort, they received the same on a post or two of theirs. But for you, as I sure you are beginning to see, the communication, the interaction, was totally lost in the process. Because you cannot reply to a “Like”. You can only give what you have received. The “like” button completely eliminated the need for communication. The need and desire to interact became non-existent. The “Like” button was not building any relationships. It was destroying all the essential elements required in creating them. It was this simple little button, that I believe, was the beginning of Facebook’s fall from grace. Facebook no longer was a place to find and make new friends. As Facebook aged, and more and more people began to simply just click the button, real interaction and communication took a huge down turn and people began to lose their sense of connectedness, to this site. People began to notice that they were no longer making connections. For awhile, I and many others, sat in denial of the facts. We did not want to see what was really taking place. But everyone eventually has to face the truth. It does not matter how ugly or unpleasant it might be, there always comes the day of reckoning. The day when we are forced to accept the hard and often cruel truth. It seems, I was one of those who accepted it later, and held on longer than most.

As I went through my purge earlier this week, I could not help but notice the number of friends I was blocking that simply had left. No words were spoken to me, or perhaps I simply missed the memo. They had seen that Facebook was no longer a place to make friends or build any kind of relationship. I, being the stubborn person that I am, thought somehow I could change the mindset of my friends on Facebook and thusly, wrote a series of posts aimed at emphasizing the importance of feedback. I even threatened to block them and then followed through, when nothing changed. All this was in vain though. It changed nothing. I now have fewer friends(that for the most part were not really friends anyway) and still mostly, just get the same results.

If you ignore all the evidence that stands before you, then you are a fool. I do not consider myself a fool and thusly, have decided that my time with Facebook is over. It is a complete waste of my time to be there, when the only forms of communication and interaction I am going to be getting, are going to be likes, pokes, and a rare message. I am far too old and have way too many things I need to accomplish, with what little time I remain upon this planet, to be wasting any of it on a site that does not promote any real interaction amoungst it’s members. Sadly, my eyes have now opened, and I clearly see the time to leave has come.

To those of you who still wish to remain friends, I can only offer a list of websites you should subscribe to( to be informed when there is a new post) and my personal guarantee that I will be genuine in every communication between us, as I always have been. To those of you who desire to go our separate ways…goodbye, good luck, and may life grant you all you desire. Here is a list of the websites, I will still be keeping for sure(not making any guarantees on how long).-

https://twitter.com/JB_Thomas Twitter account, mostly used to link sites.
https://axewielderx.wordpress.com/  My main blog. Nearly everything gets put here. All of my jokes, funny pics, and even my music can be heard here.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Axewielderx My host for all my videos.
http://www.reverbnation.com/lucidchaos My host of EVERY song I have created over the last 11 yrs.
http://authorjbthomas.wordpress.com/ The ONLY site where any of my writings exist.
http://naturalwildlifedesigns.wordpress.com/ A site where eventually, all the pics I have taken will be hosted. A work in progress…

Over the course of the next few days, I will be removing content from my Facebook personal and Band pages. I won’t deactivate the personal account because I use it to login at certain sites. Then I will simply be gone.

It is funny, that it was the last thing I said in that email I spoke of earlier, that finally made me decide to do this. It was this…”After all, if we spend our life alone, what have we lived for.”

Axe

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Birthdays, what do they really mean?

I suppose they can mean many things, to many people. They can be just another day for some. For others, they can be a day they wish would just end, or would rather forget it even existed. I view them a little differently than most, I suppose, but I am certain there are others out there like me, who view birthdays as milestones.  But what does that mean, really?

Well, let’s look at what an actual milestone is and then the picture may become clearer. A milestone is a place you stop, and you can then take a minute to look back at all you have seen, since your last one. Now you can see, I hope, what I mean when I say I view a birthday as a milestone. I stop, and look back over the previous year and take inventory of what I learned. With that idea in mind, last year implemented new settings to my Facebook account. The major setting, that was most important, was for nobody to be able to post to my timeline, but myself. This allowed two things to happen. People could not post crap and tag it with my name, to use it as a way of getting more people to go, to their timeline. It also meant if someone had something they wanted to say to me, they had to reply to something I posted(which as a side note, they would have to actually read my posts) or they had to send me a direct message.

I did this because of some very obvious reasons. I wanted to know who was actually reading what I posted, and I wanted to know which people really actually gave a shit enough about others, to send a message or even reply to a post on my timeline, on my next birthday. By last years birthday, I already suspected that most people were not reading a damn thing I posted and wondered why I would then get so many b-day wishes, if people were completely ignoring me. Then I realized, that people were not reading anything other than the little notification on their home screen, and replying directly from that. Therefore, there was no reason to ever read anything. You can just post a happy b-day message once a year, and never have to visit that person’s profile or read one fucking word, that they wrote.

This year I have the results of those settings. I may have had to wait an entire year to be sure, and to KNOW I had completely accurate results, but I believe it was worth the wait.

On Facebook, I have a total of 1064 friends. Out of those 1064 “friends” only 19 considered me worthy, of them taking their time to send me a personal Happy Birthday wish. I also made one post about it being my birthday. This post was meant to see how many would actually go to my profile. Only 2 people replied, to that b-day post. So there you have it, 21 people out of 1064 “friends” actually took the time to wish me happy b-day. That is a grand total of 2% of the people I know on FB, actually gave a shit enough to say anything to me, on my birthday.

I am betting a lot of you are now wondering how many people really give a fuck about you. My advice to you, don’t bother. The answer, even if it is better results than mine, will still be very disappointing.

Now getting this information, this hard proof, at this time could not probably not have been timed better. For awhile now I had been asking myself why it was that everything I posted, no matter where I posted it at(Facebook, WordPress, Twitter, G+, Myspace, ReverbNation, Soundcloud, Youtube, just to name a few) seemed to generate little or no response. In fact, no response has really become the norm, at nearly every place. It did not seem to matter what I posted either. A writing, a joke, a picture, a song, etc. I just did not matter where or what I posted. I began to figure out that I could post I died and it would be like everything else. Simply ignored.

I began to realize that the universe was trying to tell me something. But exactly what, I was not sure of. For awhile, I was convinced that it was trying to tell me, that I simply do not matter and should just end it. That seemed to be the message it was sending me. So loudly, so clearly, I cannot say I never considered just putting myself, out of my misery.

But then my little birthday experiment told me, that there are people, who do give a shit about me. There might not be many but there are a few. This message, combined with everything else, gave me a complete picture. Now the message, that the universe has been trying to send me, is a bit more defined.

All the years of life, that I have lived, I have had to deal with everything, from being bullied to being abused to being ignored. Yet, I have always said, it does not matter, if people, in general, hate me the moment they meet me. It does not matter, if family and friends backstab me. It does not matter, how much this world abuses me, I will rise above it all. I will be the better person. I will continue giving people a chance, by opening up, by sharing my self and my life. Now I finally realize, that I was doing it all wrong. I finally got, what the universe has been trying to tell me, and now I can see how I was wrong, in my thinking.

What I have been doing all along, is instead of rising above everything bad, that has happened to me, I have been rewarding people for their abuse. I have been giving, and giving and giving, and not receiving. I have been trying to be better but I now see, that it was a complete waste. If you give money to a fool, then the money is simply lost and has served no purpose. It has helped no one.

Now I get what the universe has been saying. It has been trying to tell me, that I have already given too much, and that I have given it to people who do not deserve it, or do not know how to receive it. I have given to fools, and no one will benefit from that. They shall not be enriched and I shall never be thanked, for all that I have given. The time for me to give, has now come to an end. The universe has been trying to tell me, that I have already given to much, and now that I can clearly see this, I shall give no more.

This does not mean I won’t ever post again. On the contrary, I might actually post more(not making any guarantees). But , what I do post in the future, will not be of my blood, time, creativity, and energy, spent. It will be other people’s crap. I will go steal and share someone else’s crap, just like every other motherfucker out there does. Nothing I post in the future will be something I created with my camera, computer, or musical instruments, unless it is something I have already created. Those works I have started, will be finished, but then all new stuff will stay with me, until the universe sends me a clear message to the contrary.

This year’s birthday milestone was a very important one for me. I learned sharing with people who are undeserving of it is the equivalent of rewarding bad behavior. I won’t make that mistake again. Thank you for reading and may your minestones show you as much, as mine have.

Axe

 

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