An ending and a beginning…

I wrote this writing. It is available for view at my writing blog. Yes, it I still exists. Funny thing about creations. They have a life all their own.

The writing I am speaking of is titled, “Everything and Nothing”. It was written 10-15 yrs. ago. While its subject matter is not the same as today, the title could just as easily fit today’s topic.

Today’s topic is not something I ever desired to write about. I suppose every writer has to face a topic, or in particular, an article they do not want to write.

While the reasons for this could vary deeply, most likely the reason is being too close to the subject. It is easy to write about things we have no personal attachment to. It really is a different ballgame, once emotions are thrown in.

While some could argue that a little passion could be a good thing, and it might indeed make things more interesting, it will also change perspective. This is not always the goal. Sometimes we just want to inform. Sometimes we just want to vent. Sometimes we just need to get past it.

I digress though. That is a very deep rabbit hole I would rather stay out of. At least for today. I have more important matters to discuss.

For one, the end of Axe’s Asylum!

For 18 yrs. this site has provided all kinds of content. From free graphics, music, and writings. To photos of all kinds of things. Funny, sad, interesting, amazing, and even some personal.

People still come here to view some of them. However, the days of people actually commenting on posts are long gone.

And no, heck no, I won’t be wasting any time pointing fingers or laying the blame. It really is irrelevant. I will say, that is does NOT matter how much I post. WordPress has made certain that none of new posts show up in the search engines.

What would you do with a website that you absolutely have to spend money on to get even a little notice? What would you do with a website that gets no comments…ever? What would you do?

I can only guess. I am not you. But I know what I will do. It is not what I want but life does not always give you great choices. Life can actually hand you worse than lemons.

Can you guess what I am implying?

The time to move on has already passed me by, I just did not want to go. I thought there were still people reading who cared. I am not surprised really, to discover I was wrong. 18 years is a long time.

In the beginning this was a great blog. Lots of visitors and communication. Then the world changed. It does that quite a lot actually. Just tie yourself to the ride and don’t let go. Well, that is what we usually do. Until, it makes us sick or tired, or both.

Say goodbye to Axewielderx aka Axe. This persona is officially dead. Heck, I injured myself IRL and can’t even play guitar anymore, so the online persona lasted longer than the real life one did.

I won’t destroy all the work I put into this blog, but I won’t be posting to it any longer. Not ever! Nevermore! This is the last post!

Lastly, I want to say THANK YOU!!!!! To everyone who ever visited, commented, or shared this blog. Your contributions to my life are immeasurable! Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. You are appreciated!!!

May all of your dreams and wishes, be what you deserve!

J.B. Thomas (Axe)

Oh, that magic feeling(nowhere to go!)

The words of the song reverberate through my mind. You know which words; surely you do.

One sweet dream, came true today.

One, two, three, four, five six seven,

All God’s children going to heaven.

Maybe this will help… You never give me your money

When you are young, having nowhere to go can be quite magical indeed. However, at some point it becomes less magical and more scary.

Yesterday, we sold our RV, our home. We sold it for payments. Yet, we have no lease secured elsewhere. Odds are we could end up on the streets as much as actually getting another place to stay.

If you think about the fact that, so many things in life either require a firm belief in luck or God, it is a bit scary. Wouldn’t it be nice to know we actually had control over anything? How much do we really have control over?

At any moment, right now even, an airplane could crash through your roof and destroy you and everything you spent your time trying to build. This just demonstrates that the idea we control anything is absurd. It is just an illusion.

Just like everything really. According to current science everything we see is made from energy, sound, vibration. Nothing is tangible! Yet, it all appears to be.

For me, knowing what I know, the answer is easy. Place all my faith that God will take care of those things which I cannot.

For me, that is where the real magic lies. Enjoy your day!!!

JB(Axe)

When The World Is Cold And Lonely

That is today. Definitely the cold part. A temperature of 19 degrees Celsius it is right now. I highly doubt anyone would argue that it is cold. It’s “shove head into oven and turn oven on time”, for sure.

But I am not going to do that. Instead I am going to try to forget exactly how frickin’ cold it gets in a RV at winter. I am going to distract myself by typing to you. Could you at least seem a little more interested? Please!

It is because of this kinda cold that led to my last hospital visit. Seems the cold dries out my sinuses and that leads to pain in my nasal passages and a feeling of congestion in my ears. Basically, I feel like I am coming down with a cold. Whether this is actually the case is irrelevant. It does become true eventually.

This is one of the reasons for the decision we have made to seek another place of residence. If the place you live no longer provides a safe environment to live, then moving becomes priority. We all must have a safe place to live. The IS the top priority on any human’s list of needs.

Sadly, it seems, my little RV home no longer provides a safe haven. Anyone got room for a slightly used writer, photographer, singer, and amusing voice maker?

Ok, I admit I am bit more than slightly used but I have been maintained reasonably well. I come with all kinds of added benefits. I can and often do produce fairly robust and intelligent conversation. I clean up after myself(mostly), I am house trained, and lastly, I can cook if given the right ingredients. Please use the contact page if any of this strikes your fancy.

While I have been enduring the cold, I edited a few recently snapped photos. I shall share them now.

A Polaroid which my wife claims is out of focus and I claim is in focus. The problem with Polaroids if that often, both of those statements are indeed true.

I went for a bit of a painting like image here.

While my wife yet sleeps, the cold remains in the forefront of my thoughts, but I am thankful. I still have my invisible audience to type at. You distract me from the cold and the loneliness, if only, but for a minute. Enjoy your day!

JB(Axe)

The Long and Winding…

That road, they call life, surely is long and winding. Especially the winding part. You feel fine one day and the next you are so sick you have to visit the Hospital Emergency room twice in two days.

This was part of my last week. It is official, I now am in debt for the rest of this lifetime and probably part of the next. But, the Cytokine storm has passed. I live on, for my suffering and my happiness are not ended.

The walk along the path is clear as it ever was. After the hospital visits, there were days of recovery, some days of insanity as my body tried to reset itself over and over again. Yet, when it was done, I gained a few new insights and was blessed with my wife’s presence for this entire week.

We have made a few decisions that should benefit our lives if everything works out and, most importantly, we were able to spend some time in the great outdoors. That is where the above photo came from and to think it almost was never made.

After deciding my neuropathy was becoming overbearing, we headed back to the car and climbed in. While sorting our things out, I happened to look up and notice the above scene. I saw it and at once knew this was a great composition. With the leading lines of the cloudscape and the sidewalk…heck the scene was half framed for me.

I opened the car door and stepped out. While rolling down the window, I pulled out my cell phone. Propping my elbows on the car window frame, I proceeded to snap a photo and much to my surprise, no photo sound came forth. It was very bright out and hard to see the screen. I was determined to get this shot and tried again. Nope! Nothing! I turned around and slipped the IPhone back into the car, away from the bright sunlight. Then I found the problem.

The IPhone had somehow been moved into video mode.

I corrected this issue and then proceeded to take a number of photos from different angles and distances. The above photo is the end result of all that and light Snapseed editing.

Maybe I will make a limited print of it one day. I guess that in another of those windings that will come when life has led me further down that long road.

I hope you found some value in this post. If you did, please like and share! Lastly, be safe and have a great day!

JB(Axe)

Fifty Nine Years

It seems like just yesterday. I can remember racing through the cornfields to beat the bus home. The sun was shining bright but I was never looking up. I was navigating through the cornstalks. Weaving in and out, jump over a fallen stalk, duck under a tall leaning one. In and out, up and down. Quick as quick could be. The crisp air keeping me cool, on I ran until I reached my home. Slip the key into the door, fly up the small set of stars and flop onto the couch, breathing deeply and fast. Let the adrenaline flow out and happiness flow in. Happy in the knowledge that I always beat the bus home…always.

That was me at 12 years old. The third fastest runner and the best high jumper in my school. It was the running through those cornfields that got me there. I look back at that time and smile. Whatever happened to the moments like that? Where did they go?

Today as I turn 59, those questions and many more come to mind. Why must we, every year, face our mortality? I mean really, does it even matter? I got news for you young ones out there. It does not get any easier as you get older. In fact, as we get older we just find more and more unanswered questions. In fact, at my age I could fill a library with unanswered questions.

Sadly, the world does not make things any easier. But, it was supposed to, right? Weren’t we told to respect our elders, so that we would receive that same respect, when we got older? So we listened to their stories, we helped them up, we opened the doors, we cooked, cleaned, did whatever we were asked. Sure, we might have complained sometimes, but we still did it. It now looks like we were lied to.

People in their fifties (and above)have become the first, of probably many generations to come, the throw away people. Companies don’t want us, our kids don’t want us, and even our grandchildren have no room for us. They want us gone so bad, they tried to eliminate us with Covid. A disease, designed in a lab, to kill the elderly. Yeah, I know tinfoil hat stuff, but you really should do the research, before writing off words.

But I won’t go down the rabbit hole. It is far too deep these days and there ain’t no coming back either. We have enough to worry about these times. Everywhere you look is another enemy or so the government wants you to believe. Nobody trusts anybody. It is a very far cry from when I grew up. When you could leave your doors unlocked and play outside all day long.

I know you ain’t asking, but if you did ask what went wrong, I could give you an answer to that. Oh yeah, I could give you an answer to that question and it would even be the right answer. But I won’t! Oh heck no! If I learned anything in 59 years, it’s that people will only believe what they want to. So I won’t be wasting your time with any of my answers today, tyvm.

Maybe, just maybe if you ask me when I am 590 years old, I might give you an answer. But for today, my birthday, I will just say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Well, it seems I did just give you an answer after all…

Axe(JB)